Thursday, February 16, 2012

Hold Me...Don't Leave Me Hanging!

Awake the Giant - Gowan

It seems the faster we want to speed through life, the more that we are held back by the conveniences of modern society. Many times it has been brought up for debate how the appliances that we fill our homes with to make light of everyday chores actually makes more work and often take up more time. Consider the food processor - by the time you take it out of the cupboard, plug it in, cut the food into pieces that will fit into the feeder tube, turn it on, get a spatula to scrap the food out of the receptacle, dismantle and wash the pieces, I could have taken out a knife and cutting board, cut up the food, scraped off the board with the same knife and be done 10 times over! No I didn't forget about washing the knife and cutting board, because you had to do that too with your task! Not that I would be willing to go back to the days of yore when we didn't have to clean the 2 or 3 toilets in the average house in favour of an outhouse. Some conveniences are worth the trouble! 

But the one technological advancement that I would have no problem leaving behind is the "Hold" button. While I do believe there is a time and a place where it can be useful and even helpful, it's purpose has been abused and it has become a scourge of society. There is one business that I call on a fairly often that is answered by a live person saying "Can you hold please?" and then putting you on hold before you can answer! I hate not being given the choice? Then there is another well known national company that I feel the need to call but I have to set aside a few hours for the process because of the amount of time I know I will be on hold and transferred about to different departments. I've been meaning to call for the past month but just haven't had a big enough block of time to do so. How stupid is that! And you have to be home to call companies like this because most of us are minutes restricted on our cell phones. You could use up a months worth of air time on one call just being on hold. It's time to literally wake up the giants to the ways of modern society. We don't have the time to be put on "ignore"!

Maybe it is just me, but I always worry about putting the phone on speaker, because I am afraid that when I pick up, I will accidentally cut them off and then have to start the whole process again. Back of the line...grrr. So you hold the handset to your ear - but don't move, because your chin can inadvertently hang up the phone. Another modern day convenience that can work against up - the cordless handset. You gotta admit that hanging up the old phones by mistake was a lot harder than it is today, although you were tethered to the wall. Once, in a fit of desperation I put the handset on the corner of the bathroom counter and crooked my neck so I could still hear while I did my business. Guys wouldn't understand, they can take care of things with one hand. 

One of the things I hate the most about being on hold is the muzak that offends my ears. I get that a major benefit of this is that we know that we haven't been cut off - has that ever happened to you...thinking you are on hold, only to realize that you were cut off long ago? But if I have to be subjected to music that is not necessarily to my liking, it should not be so loud as to further offend, or I should be able to turn it down. Background noise only please, because your crap is competing with my beautiful noise. And while I am at it, if you are going to interrupt to tell me how much you appreciate my patience...please don't yell it at me. If you really valued my business or me you would not abuse my time so freely. 

The thing is, that there is a better system available. You call the business, if they can't take your call at that time you are invited to leave your contact information and they give you a time frame of when you can expect a call back - usually 15-20 minutes. And they usually do - quicker than the original estimate. That technology should be made mandatory especially for our government offices who are probably the worst offenders for putting people on hold for interminably long times. In the time that it took for me to write, edit and post this blog, my friend has been on hold with our civil servants. Someone needs to go relieve him...his shift is over soon lol! 

And while we are on phone etiquette and wasting of my time at your convenience, can we please ban automatic dialers. I have way better things to do than stop what I am doing to answer a phone only to find no one there.  If you hear an ear piercing whistle because you have not answered me promptly enough don't call again :) I'm not interested in whatever you are offering. 

I have no grass that needs weeding - just weeds that need grass.
I have no ducts that need cleaning - just geese that need plucking.
I have no need for new windows and doors, I live in a tent.
If you haven't been paid and I'm late, it's because I don't have the money. Phoning me at 8am on Saturday is not going to change that! Duh!

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