Thursday, December 01, 2011

Depression and anxiety disorders are not a sign of weakness. They are signs that you've been trying to be strong for too long.


Never Too Late - Three Days Grace


Depression and anxiety disorders are not a sign of weakness. They are signs that you've been trying to be strong for too long.




If I think that one person might be helped by my admission that in the past year I have suffered from anxiety and depression, then it will have been worth it. I believe that it came as a shock to a lot of people because I was known as the happy one, always smiling and laughing. I got angry but never mad, instead I got frustrated and "wrote people off" instead of confronting them. I just figured people who tried to bring me down were not worth my time. Being of the Catholic faith I put a lot of trust in God that justice would be served by a higher power than myself. 


But it seems that it is easier to use my past against me then to look at the real issues and fix the problem or hell...at least admit that there is a problem. To be perfectly clear, I am being told that what happened to me at work happened because I couldn't handle it for all the tragedy I suffered as a kid. In other words, I wasn't bullied at work I was treated like everyone else and I couldn't handle it. And to this I only have one thing for you to consider. Personal tragedy most certainly affected my life and outlook therein when I was in my early to mid-20's. Now suddenly 20 years after the fact those circumstances have returned to dominate my life and perception of my place in this world. How was it that I managed to cope for so long? How could I raise two normal children, work, volunteer, maintain relationships with people, forge new relationships etc? How could I be so successful and happy in my life....until I set foot in the door of the Catholic School System to offer my heart, soul and expertise into helping the most vulnerable members of our community. Until those in power saw someone that could be abused.


So let's see if I am understanding this properly. It is okay to take the most vulnerable and weak members of our society and exploit them, for then you will have an excuse to fall back on. Does this seem okay to anyone with two brain cells to rub together? Well, I am here to tell you that it is a rarity for the physically, emotionally, or strong of character person that is singled out as a target for the bully. The bully will ALWAYS pick someone that they perceive to be weaker than they are. A bully is such because they need to feel empowered and they are really too weak and incapable of achieving it on their own. They must stand upon and crush the spirit of another to "show" their power. Often, (but not exclusively) done with an audience, the on-lookers are forced to side with the bully for they fear they may become the next target. So the weak stands alone...much like that old school ground game we used to play "The cheese stands alone". I don't remember the point of that game but I do recall standing in the middle of a circle with my school mates holding hands in a sign of unity forming a circle around me as they tauntingly sang. When I was the cheese...I felt so very alone.


When I was at work with the school board I prayed that someone would hear me, listen to me and stop the madness. But it wasn't to be.


And I have come to learn that a person who bullied me, and perhaps even your children with challenges that you sent to be educated with kindness, compassion and consideration in the sight of God within the Dufferin Peel Catholic District School Board is at it again. "Heels"...people beware and stay away!

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